2 PACK TOWELSUPREMACY LUX Towels 100% Egyptian Cotton

Towels. One of nature's softest creations. And while these towels weren't "Farm Raised" or "Blessed by the Pope"

They have however been rigorously tested by Gentlemen of discerning taste.

Each LUX towel is guaranteed to be soft, huge and full of Supreme quality.

Why? Because we were fooled by an online ad once. But never again.

Measurements?

5'4" x 2'6"

Each towel is measured by its skill in water absorbency, soft and cuddliness, snuggle McWarminess and finally by resistance to small arms.

We will be honest, it does not stand up to a 9mm. But will deflect a nerf dart.

We ordered as many towels as our hulking, muscular, petite and sexy frames could muster.

Because we wanted to be dry and comfy, not covered in weird towel lint.

Now we are passing the quality on to you. That quality is guaranteed because we are very critical of our craftsman.

There was a point where I was throwing away perfectly fine prototypes and yelling "Another!"

Because Fine is not supreme. And it certainly isn't towel supremacy.

Each Towel is made from Cotton, Machine washable and indefinitely better by Towel Administration standards*

Lux towel operation:

Dry. Soft and Fluffy. Just make sure that you wash them before hand. Yeah I know, you guys are like:

"Pff nah." But trust. This step is crucial and will make the towel even better and softer.

Some loose threads? Yep. Made by hand. By humans. That happens. But this also guarantees the towel is real.

100% Genuine Towel materials were used to make this Glorious product and we are so proud that we hope to be selling towels for a long time to come.

Top Speed:

When ran a towel on the belt sander and it went really fast. But it also dried me far too fast. So we recommend only drying yourself "Briskly" but not sing power tools to accelerate the process.

We here at towel Supremacy will not take crappy toilet paper grade towels.

Pamper yourself. Because in this world of imitation, poorly made and unfairly distributed bathroom accoutrements there's always someone trying to get one over on you.

Become Ungovernable. Become Supreme. Become the dry people of the supreme towel.

*Towel Administration currently pending construction and accreditation.